Heartbroken Since I was back from My Place yesterday, I never felt better. My memory flashed back to my past with you, starting from we knew each other till now..my heart felt so painful, never been such painful, especially when I accidentaly thought of the bad memories...Any how, any bad memories would never be as bad as when I read your chat log. That's the worst time of my life, I really feel very bitter..I kept on wondering, whether both of you had done anything else behind me??? I wanted to stop that feeling, suspicious on you as I felt bad for suspecting the one I love for having affair with another girl. I should have read all your chat logs, only then I can decide whether to trust you or not. Anyway, I dont think it is possible as you might had deleted everything. The more you don't want me to know more, the more I felt like knowing...I duno whether you understand my feeling but it sucks..trust me, you will never want to get it.Do you know, I suddenly felt that I have no heart to continue our journey anymore..Only the worst part is stuck in my brain now. I tried to be strong, tried to forget, I couldn't. Wanted to find you but I don't want to as I thought of your conversation with her once I thought of you. Even though I seemed fine yesterday before I came back, I am actually not, I was crying in my heart all the while..I cant afford to cry anymore as my eyes really hurt. When you said "muacks" in msn yesterday, it makes me wonder, is this a real one or it is just one which you send to other girls..as it is normal for you rite?? haha..I never did this in my life, I din even say " I miss you" to other guys..not to mention "muacks and I luv u" .I know, you said this after breaking up with me in March..but is just a short period after we break up. How can you do this to me??? If I am really in your heart, dont you feel disgusting when you say " i luv u" to other gals? U always think of me, I am also wondering, you never think of other girls before?I made the word "muacks and I luv you" so special to you but you polluted everything...It is meant to be sweet but it make me so bitter. Seriously, I really felt that I am no one to you. I am just a stupid idiot caring for someone I care, in the end, found out that everything is just a joke.A BIG JOKE!! I am a big idiot, I make you such a special person, but what do I get?? IF I am special to you, you wouldn't have done that...a break for us as you are afraid that you might hurt me is a LAME excuse..You yourself not even sure that I am really the one for you...Enough is enough...I am really tired..T.T

Since I was back from My Place yesterday, I never felt better. My memory flashed back to my past with you, starting from we knew each other till now..my heart felt so painful, never been such painful, especially when I accidentaly thought of the bad memories...Any how, any bad memories would never be as bad as when I read your chat log. That's the worst time of my life, I really feel very bitter..I kept on wondering, whether both of you had done anything else behind me??? I wanted to stop that feeling, suspicious on you as I felt bad for suspecting the one I love for having affair with another girl. I should have read all your chat logs, only then I can decide whether to trust you or not. Anyway, I dont think it is possible as you might had deleted everything. The more you don't want me to know more, the more I felt like knowing...I duno whether you understand my feeling but it sucks..trust me, you will never want to get it.

Do you know, I suddenly felt that I have no heart to continue our journey anymore..Only the worst part is stuck in my brain now. I tried to be strong, tried to forget, I couldn't. Wanted to find you but I don't want to as I thought of your conversation with her once I thought of you. Even though I seemed fine yesterday before I came back, I am actually not, I was crying in my heart all the while..I cant afford to cry anymore as my eyes really hurt. When you said "muacks" in msn yesterday, it makes me wonder, is this a real one or it is just one which you send to other girls..as it is normal for you rite?? haha..I never did this in my life, I din even say " I miss you" to other guys..not to mention "muacks and I luv u" .I know, you said this after breaking up with me in March..but is just a short period after we break up. How can you do this to me??? If I am really in your heart, dont you feel disgusting when you say " i luv u" to other gals? U always think of me, I am also wondering, you never think of other girls before?

I made the word "muacks and I luv you" so special to you but you polluted everything...It is meant to be sweet but it make me so bitter. Seriously, I really felt that I am no one to you. I am just a stupid idiot caring for someone I care, in the end, found out that everything is just a joke.
A BIG JOKE!! I am a big idiot, I make you such a special person, but what do I get?? IF I am special to you, you wouldn't have done that...a break for us as you are afraid that you might hurt me is a LAME excuse..You yourself not even sure that I am really the one for you...Enough is enough...I am really tired..T.T