After 2 weeks of holidays, back to college again....finally can meet my dear lgc again..hehe. I came back on Saturday, it was lgc's sister's birthday, went out with his family for dinner at a Thai restaurant (2nd time there, nice food especially the tom yam!!). Haha, his brother in- law kept asking me to hide from him to make him panic to see me missing, but of course I didn't do that, only 2 weeks but miss him a lot lo..=), therefore rather see him happy than to see him panic..=P.
Enough for flash back, let's see what happened today. It was a super boring day for me..watched series almost the whole day, after that, chatting and for the 1st time, playing msn game, didn't even know that it exists till a friend, Chucky invited me to play online..haha..Talking about board games, thought of that rainy day, I was stucked at Station One with lgc, we had lunch around 3pm, because of the rain, we spent our waiting time playing board games..haha, reversi, checkers..that's what we played. I was playing with a friend online but thought of the time I played with my lgc .( unfair for my friend rite, =P)
Then, I received pictures from my lgc..haha, the very 1st pictures of us where I can at least keep somewhere..yes!! In my blog, I can't keep it in computer at the moment, where else, post online and keep it there, can see whenever I want, and my secret can be kept as well..muahaha..perhaps I am going to learn how to keep hidden files in computer..( evil huh?)
Hmm...guess I 'll stop here, a bored but happy day for me..^^
p/s : A big hug to my dear dear Xin Yan, hope you feel better by now..must take care. Support u always!
Monday, June 30, 2008
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Am I important?
Am I important? I have been wondering for quite some time...Since I accepted you again, you promise will treat me better but did you? Maybe I am thinking too much..but I really feel that you are not doing much afford to maintain this relationship...I feel that I am following what you want and what you need..where are my needs?? I am lost sometimes..wonder whether am I doing the right thing..I need some feeling of secureness, feeling that you need me and really do care for me, but as time passed, I cant get that feel..I admit I admire my friends with boyfriend who will come them and spend time with them instead of me doing it almost all of the time, taking bus and taxi to and fro alone..I seemed brave but I do need a protection from a guy, a guy that is able to think of my safety and my needs... I don't need you to do that everytime but at least I wish that you will show me that you try..I am your girlfriend, am I not worth for you to do that? Or you rather me being kidnapped by a taxi driver at night someday and you will regret that time? I experienced being disturbed by taxi driver and I really dont wish to have the same experience for the second time...Do you know how much I wish that you will take care of me more that I do take care of you....
You actually did hurt me when you gave your excuses, and I felt even more that I am just a girl to you, nothing special about me anymore. You just need me to accompany you when you are bored, when you need someone to help you to do certain things, whenever I find you, it's so hard for me to even make you not fall asleep..you are always tired, or tired when you see me, I was left at a corner, either playing games, reading my own notes or watch you sleep....
I really dont want to be calculative over these small stuff, but it somehow portrays how much I am worth for you...think again......I just need someone for me to rely on, I don't know how much else can I do for you, or how can do more to please you, make you happy......I am just too tired, I really hope that I can be more selfish....but will I? I will if it continues till the day that I felt over exhausted, exhausted in the sense of doing things in one way communication, "bertepuk sebelah tangan tidak akan berbunyi"...thinking of why did you held me back since I am that not worth to you....I am alright in front of you but do you understand what I really want?? I have been giving in...I wish to get some response at least....put you in my shoes and think of how I felt all this while.
You actually did hurt me when you gave your excuses, and I felt even more that I am just a girl to you, nothing special about me anymore. You just need me to accompany you when you are bored, when you need someone to help you to do certain things, whenever I find you, it's so hard for me to even make you not fall asleep..you are always tired, or tired when you see me, I was left at a corner, either playing games, reading my own notes or watch you sleep....
I really dont want to be calculative over these small stuff, but it somehow portrays how much I am worth for you...think again......I just need someone for me to rely on, I don't know how much else can I do for you, or how can do more to please you, make you happy......I am just too tired, I really hope that I can be more selfish....but will I? I will if it continues till the day that I felt over exhausted, exhausted in the sense of doing things in one way communication, "bertepuk sebelah tangan tidak akan berbunyi"...thinking of why did you held me back since I am that not worth to you....I am alright in front of you but do you understand what I really want?? I have been giving in...I wish to get some response at least....put you in my shoes and think of how I felt all this while.
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