Today, I am very sad. I have not been this sad due my results since a year ago long time.
All this while, I don't know why, but I realised I have to work extra hard compared to others to get what I want. This is always the case when it is about results. For SPM, I did not get A1 for my biology, I worked really hard yet I failed. During A levels, I scored a B for my Biology again. Perhaps I am just not that good in Biologi? Haha..MAYBE..
Fine, now I am doing ACCA, not science anymore, but I still can't score well even though I put a lot of hardwork and effort. Let's talk about Tax alone. the lecturer is really dedicated, she gives us a lot of homework and extra classes. I really appreciate her although I complaint a lot. She has high expectation for her students just like I have expectations for myself. I JUST WANT TO DO MY BEST..just that simple.
Nothing comes easily in life, I understand the fact. I did not ask for "free gift". I just want to see the fruit after so much of hardwork. Is really heartbroken to know that you are actually not that smart even though you are so hardworking. Tonnes of homework, but I make sure I do all before Tax class. Because of this particular subject, I sacrified most of my time. Other subjects I almost neglected them. It 's so disheartening when you only score 58% for a subject you study almost everyday. Perhaps some may think that I push myself too hard. I will answer no! I just have my own expectations ( Come on! I worked 10 times harder than I normally do). Perhaps some may say, it is just a test, not the finals but then it reflects how much I have in my brain. I am so *&^%$#@$%* ( not rough words, just don't know how to describe my feelings) . Some of my friends who did not really complete their homework , copying my homework sometimes is still able to get about my marks. What is my problem?? I just hope..hope that I will see the results after hardwork, I did not ask for free..
Such an unhappy day. T.T
2 comments:
when life seems unfair....
what do you do when nothing is going your way? how do you feel when your effort doesn't reflect on your result? Things do not go as you have planned. when all these happened, do you ask, 'why?' , 'why me???'
Life is pretty unfair sometimes, you have to admit it. But trust me, everything happens for a reason. And that reason is your spiritual growth. you may get so used to the way you think/feel in the past. Maybe it is time to review the way you have been handling your life.
Be sensitive to your surrounding, and look at the signs and people around you. God loves you and He is trying to teach you something. Do not harden your heart.
It saddened me to know my loved one is badly hurt. Last time when i failed my audit paper, i cried and in fact i felt like this life is over...i wanted to stop...i worked bloody hard..in fact harder than you..read my lips...i hit it harder than any audit students that sem!!!
I wanted to give up the course ( i gone to the hostle mgt to terminate my tenancy) and just put my ass out to work and give up my life as a student. I did not understand why life is bloody unfair and why i cudnt pass despite so much hard work and prayer. Am i stupid? or i was born dumb and stupid? or perhaps i was hit with bad luck that sem? no one knows...only God knows...back then!But look at me now...iam still here and my life is getting better than before..
But now i can tell you that i have learned alot from that incident and i believe this is what God has been trying to teach me back then. Relax and do your best...work hard and enjoy with ppl around you...then leave the rest to God. If you have reverence for him, He wont leave you alone..It's all about trust.Hey just as long you know you have done your best and that your action and effort are justified and right in the eyes of God..then be happy. Yes! You can be sad...keep on grumbling, keep on complaining, keep on bitching about your failure!..Do it!!!! But not to the extend your heart is broken into pieces. God is sending you trial to make you stronger. Are you that weak that you cant handle it? Learn and seek the truth. Well please know that this is not the end of the sem and anything still can happen. Hey! this is not the end of the world..u still got so many reasons to be happy...you got a caring family, friends..and in your life you have someone who loves you so much..and u know who is he. Wake up and I will be here for you.
"Perhaps I am just not that good in Biologi?" YEE LIHUI you cant even spell biology correctly thats why! LOL.. no im just kidding.. cheers girl! i wanna talk to you online ah! =(
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